Tuesday 27 July 2010

Poor Me

I have been feeling so down the last couple days. Millie cries and then I cry. Someone can say basically anything and I take offense. I am so on edge right now. Last week SUCKED (I can hear Millie in my head telling me that's not a nice word) so why do I have balled up tissues everywhere this week. Shouldn't I be feeling better? Things are looking up, right? I'm so frustrated with this Maintenance stuff. Everyone says it's so easy. I don't think it's easy. Millie still has dark circles under her eyes from all the drugs, her skin was grey all weekend, she whined about everything. Sure her hair is growing back and she was able to play, but she's still being pumped full of drugs and exhausted. I'm exhausted. I can't keep my house clean, I have laundry all over the place; clean, dirty, folded, doesn't matter, it's everywhere. I'm overwhelmed and I don't really think I should be.
Now I'm going to cry again, Austin has been playing in the toilet and of course Millie hasn't flushed. Now I'm going to be late to my hair appointment since i have to clean him up. YUCK!

5 comments:

Lindsey said...

You're an amazing mom! Who cares if your house is a wreck! I can't imagine how your guys must feel, but I know you can do it! Do you wanna get the kids together one day to play? Maddie would love to!!

Danalisa said...

AW, Amanda...big hugs! Not everyday (or week) can be a piece of cake...but you have had a lot on your plate the past year and it's bound to play havoc with your emotions. Hang in there...you are a great mom...don't worry about the laundry as tomorrow will always bring more. haha Let those around you help you when you need it. Wish I was there to give you a hand!

lindsay Roscoe said...

It's the let down process. I think everyone I know is overwhelmed right now. Time is just moving to fast and with cell phones and computers occupying our time. I think sometimes if we didn't have computers, cell phones, phones, texting, blogging ,etc we all could feel a little less overwhelmed. Millie is doing great! It will also be a great day when she has 0 meds going into her body. Thank heavens that despite everything she has done so great! Keep your head up!Some advice I recieved this last year was find something you enjoy.

Jesse C said...

So sorry to hear it. Hang in there.

Eisha said...

Amanda, I wish I could help--my heart has gone out to you this year. When I think life is hard with three kids (one who is always sick)while living abroad so we can survive this recession I think of you and then think my life is easy. I don't know how you do it--really! What can we do for you? I feel so helpless all the way out here in Australia! :-(