It was so nice to walk into clinic today and see lots of familiar faces. There were 3 other families there from our Facebook support group, and although I wish we knew each other for a different reason then we do, it's still a wonderful comfort. Sadly I left my camera in the car or I would have LOVED to get a picture with all our Cancer Fighting Cuties.
My mom came with me today (THANK HEAVENS!). It's always nice to have an extra pair of hands to wrestle the Austin Monster, and some one for me to chat with while we play the waiting game. Luckily we were on what they call the "fast track" and we were out of there in 2 1/2 hours, yep, that's FAST for clinic. Our other buddies were there for more like 8. :(
Everything went well. Millie's blood counts are all good which was nice to hear since she is on the full dose of oral chemo right now. I thought she was looking pale, and I still do, but a blood test doesn't lie.
Today was just like every other clinic day; height measured, weight check, blood pressure taken, and then a lot of waiting and meeting with a nurse and 2 different doctors. Millie was a champ when they accessed her PORT and administered her Vincristine. I am so proud of her!
Everything else was written on November 11, but now I'm writing tonight
I mentioned before that Millie has been pale. She still is and along with that she is incredibly tired. She takes a nap almost every day and this afternoon she slept for 4 HOURS! I'm worried about her. She's not sick, she doesn't seem to be getting sick, her counts are actually on the high side, so what is going on? Someone on our support page wrote that our medical innocence is gone and it's so true. My head no longer goes to she's probably growing, or maybe catching a cold, my mind wonders off to the worst possible scenario...her cancer is coming back.
The chances of that happening during Maintenance chemo is incredibly low, and I'm sure that's not what it is, but I HATE that that's where my brain goes. I don't know if I could handle it. I really don't. I probably sound a little like a mad woman at the moment but these fears are my reality and it's not fair.
Her next appointment is December 9th and in a way I'm actually looking forward to it. As much as I HATE chemo and HATE what it does to my baby girl and HATE what it could do to my baby girl over her life, I am grateful for it at the same time.
Chemo is saving her.