Miss Millie

After we found out that Millie relapsed, I wanted to get her pictures taken. Since we didn't have time before she was hospitalized one of our family friends who also happens to be an amazing photographer came in and snapped some shots of Millie. I am so grateful to have some of her before chemo took over. Thank you Mark from Pier23 Photography  for taking the time to come up to Millie's hospital room. Your work is stunning and we will treasure these always. 

Thank you Pier23 for taking the time to do this for us and for capturing Millie. She was already receiving chemo treatments and on steroids, so getting Millie to be her silly self could not have been easy.

What was thought to be the end.

It's hard for me to look back at these pictures. Both Brady and I had a little bit of an unsettling feeling as we were going into our "last" clinic appointment. The whole day felt off some how, and now we know why.

Millie getting check-in; height, weight, and blood pressure. She always would stand on her tip toes to try and trick Pam.

Good Night Sweet Girl.


In recovery

Not a happy camper when she wakes up,

until we are on our way home and she finally gets to eat her rainbow cupcake.

SURPRISE!

Cousin Sherry put together a surprise get together at the house. We drove up to everyone chanting Millie's name and waving signs congratulating her. It was a good moment. I have videos, but I don't feel like posting them.

Thank you to everyone who came out and to those of you that have been a support to us over the past couple years. We love you.

WE LOVE MILLIE!

Ava Kate Millie Whitney Melody

Millie was able to have 3 days of celebrating before we landed back at the hospital. They let us come home Monday night and be together as a family before we were to start the next insane portion of our life. From here on out this blog will be dedicated to Miss Millie and her FINALLY battle with cancer.

Thank you so much for the prayers that have been coming in. We feel them every single day.

Kidney Stone

About a month ago I had just come home from a funeral and I took one look at Millie and knew something was off. This girl does not stop playing unless she feels pretty awful and she actually asked for the neighbor kids to go home, not a good sign. While I was trying to find every one's shoes and socks Amelia started screaming like I have never heard in my life. It still gives me nightmares. I flew to Primary Children's and after much demanding on my part that there was more to this pain then a little constipation we found out Amelia had a kidney stone over the size of a centimeter. This would be large for an adult, let alone my 6 year old. She had passed it from her kidney through the ureter and it was stuck above the bladder. They couldn't get Millie in for surgery for a month so they had us stay over night, placed a stint the next morning, and sent us on our way.

CT scan in the ER to see what was going on.

Millie and Austin enjoying the ride from recovery.

Amelia had the stint for about a full day when she started screaming again. I called the hospital and after hearing her over the phone the surgeon changed the date for the next morning. I was so relieved. What happened was when they placed the stint they pushed the stone back to her kidney so she passed it through the Ureter again! Poor thing. It was still stuck above the bladder so they had to go in and blast it.

Before surgery.

After surgery.

She was not feeling well and yes I know she just had surgery, but I could tell something was off. Usually she recovers pretty well and even days later she was feeling horrible. After her procedure she just wasn't herself. She had high fevers, a lot of pain, and something was wrong. We called the on-call doc and they had us bring her in. Her crit (red blood count) had dropped from 36 to 17 in a 4 day period. It was dangerously low and Amelia needed an immediate blood transfusion. We had actually been in the ER the night before for her fever and pain, but they sent us home. Someone missed the fact that my daughter who has a blood cancer had very low blood counts. She should have been admitted that night. Thankfully I called the next morning to check in and see what the docs were thinking since she was still fevering. It was at this point that they noticed she needed a transfusion. They ended up not only giving her blood, but admitting us because she had lost so much, and they had no idea why.

After the transfusion they sent us home a couple days later. It took another week to realize she had a ton of fluid around her kidney and she also had either an abscess or urine leak. They couldn't decide which. I was just grateful they figured out what was going on. They sent Millie home on IV antibiotics for the week and that was that. Her body finally recovered and she seemed to be feeling better. It was a horrible month, but we were past it now and looking forward to her finishing her chemo treatments after 2 years.

She finished her last dose of antibiotics the day before our final IV chemo which was Thursday. Amelia was to have her last clinic appointment, last lumbar puncture, and last Vincristine dose. We had been waiting for so long to reach this day.

These are all pictures from the Kidney Stone ordeal...

Fevering and in a lot of pain after surgery, so we're back at Primary.

Still having fevers so we are back again...

Poor girl had her stint pulled and an IV placed on the same day. She was one unhappy girl.

Amelia had a GIANT red mustache from drinking the contrast fluid for yet another CT scan to figure out what the heck was going on. This was when they finally found the fluid around her kidney after 2 weeks of torture.

They sent her home with IV antibiotics that Brady and I had to give her through her port every 8 hours. After a few days Millie finally started to feel better and once again there was an end in sight, at least that's what we thought.

Thursday Feb 2 came and because Amelia had been having so many issues her doc decided to do a bone marrow aspiration. This is not normal after A.L.L treatments. I thank my Heaven Father every day that we decided to go ahead with it. If we hadn't who knows what would have happened.

Feb 6. 2012 our life's were once again flipped upside down as we were informed Amelia had relapsed. 80% of her bone marrow was filled with Leukemia. Amelia continues the fight for her life.

Our Little Star

Millie was in her 1st play this year. Her school did How The Grinch Stole Christmas. She loved doing it and was very cute. I was so proud of her for knowing all her lines, songs, and dances.

The school hires out to a Non Profit Company to run the plays and they adapt them so every child has lines and a solo (if they want). Millie was an Apple Who.

WE LOVE YOU LITTLE GIRL AND OUR VERY PROUD OF ALL YOUR HARD WORK.

Not the best picture, but I love her pose.

Thanks Grandpa Jeff and Nana for coming to see Miss Millie make her debut.

Grandma Jager and Grandpa Jager too!

Millie with her teacher Anna. She was so good to Millie. THANK YOU!

1st Hair Cut

THANK YOU MOLLY!

October Clinic Update 2011

Millie did fabulous at clinic and it went fast! We were out of there in 1.5 hours, that never happens. Everything went well and other then the normal side effects from her chemo like, stomach pain, and an aching body Millie is looking fabulous. I am sure proud of my little Super Hero.

Clinic Stats

Height: 111 cm

Weight: 19.1 kg

ANC: 1.4

I had to include this picture. This is Austin's "smile". It's a little frightening.

Millie September 2011 Update

What can I say about Amelia and her clinic... Everything went the same as usual. Check-in, get a hospital band, wait, crafts, height, weight, blood pressure, get assigned a room, wait, wait, wait, see a nurse, wait, get prepped for PORT access, jab needle in chest, draw blood, wait, wait, wait, wait, talk to doctor, back to infusion area, wait, wait, wait, flu shot, wait, wait, wait, finally chemotherapy push, de-access, clean up, schedule for blood labs in 2 weeks, schedule for clinic in 4, go home.

I am so sick of this routine that has become normal. I'm starting to feel like it's all too easy. I guess that's a good thing, but at the same time I know that none of this is easy. Even as I say it I find it a little insulting to Amelia and somewhat disrespectful to take away what she is going through. They upped her steroid dose because she had gained a little weight and I wanted to scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO from the top of my lungs. As her mother I know that she feels horrible on steroids. She is so depressed. Nothing makes her happy for longer then a few minutes. Today Brady heard her say, "This is the worst day of my life," so for me to feel like this is routine isn't fair to her. None of this should seem "normal," none of it should be blown over, or a second thought. I don't know if that even makes sense, but it makes sense to me.

Sadly I was reminded this week of how cancer once again can effect anyone at anytime as our neighbor and friend was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. Tyler is 16 years old and faces a year of intense chemotherapy mixed in with radiation, and possible surgery. When I hear news like this it makes me sick to my stomach. My heart aches for this family because I know what this means. Cancer is a horrible disease and kids of all ages deserve a CURE.

I'm rambling at this point, but I have a lot on my mind as I sit here listening to my daughter whimper in her bed. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and I know I have just posted about it, but I want you all to know. Please start asking companies if they support childhood cancer. Ask them if they sell products with a GOLD ribbon. Let's help these kids! PLEASE! In October everything is covered with PINK for Breast Cancer and I am happy for all these woman that get to feel someone more recognized and support, and my dream is for everything to be covered with GOLD in September. Spread Awareness. They deserve it.

Okay back on track, MILLIE. Millie is my HERO. Have I said that lately? I should.

Clinic Stats:

Height: 110 cm

Weight: 19.2 (42 lbs)

ANC: 5.1

( Her ANC was way to high for a child on chemo, we had to up all of her different chemo doses.)