What can I say about Amelia and her clinic... Everything went the same as usual. Check-in, get a hospital band, wait, crafts, height, weight, blood pressure, get assigned a room, wait, wait, wait, see a nurse, wait, get prepped for PORT access, jab needle in chest, draw blood, wait, wait, wait, wait, talk to doctor, back to infusion area, wait, wait, wait, flu shot, wait, wait, wait, finally chemotherapy push, de-access, clean up, schedule for blood labs in 2 weeks, schedule for clinic in 4, go home.
I am so sick of this routine that has become normal. I'm starting to feel like it's all too easy. I guess that's a good thing, but at the same time I know that none of this is easy. Even as I say it I find it a little insulting to Amelia and somewhat disrespectful to take away what she is going through. They upped her steroid dose because she had gained a little weight and I wanted to scream NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO from the top of my lungs. As her mother I know that she feels horrible on steroids. She is so depressed. Nothing makes her happy for longer then a few minutes. Today Brady heard her say, "This is the worst day of my life," so for me to feel like this is routine isn't fair to her. None of this should seem "normal," none of it should be blown over, or a second thought. I don't know if that even makes sense, but it makes sense to me.
Sadly I was reminded this week of how cancer once again can effect anyone at anytime as our neighbor and friend was diagnosed with rhabdomyosarcoma. Tyler is 16 years old and faces a year of intense chemotherapy mixed in with radiation, and possible surgery. When I hear news like this it makes me sick to my stomach. My heart aches for this family because I know what this means. Cancer is a horrible disease and kids of all ages deserve a CURE.
I'm rambling at this point, but I have a lot on my mind as I sit here listening to my daughter whimper in her bed. September is Childhood Cancer Awareness Month and I know I have just posted about it, but I want you all to know. Please start asking companies if they support childhood cancer. Ask them if they sell products with a GOLD ribbon. Let's help these kids! PLEASE! In October everything is covered with PINK for Breast Cancer and I am happy for all these woman that get to feel someone more recognized and support, and my dream is for everything to be covered with GOLD in September. Spread Awareness. They deserve it.
Okay back on track, MILLIE. Millie is my HERO. Have I said that lately? I should.
6 comments:
Love those curls. So glad you can see the light at the end of the tunnel for now. :-)
Oh Amanda...we never gloss over what you are all going through...they deserve a cure! Everyone with cancer does. On a positive..she looks amazing!
We are pulling for you all, especially Millie. What an amazing girl she is. She is lucky to have such a great family supporting her through all of this.
beautiful hair! I have been trying to grow mine out for three years (yea, from when I chopped it after having thomas) and millie is going to beat me!
So happy to see this update! I can't even tell you how much I miss this beautiful little girl! I'm so sorry that they had to up her steroids - bummer! Some how I know she'll come out of top. Hang in there Amanda! You have been the most amazing mother to Millie! I totally think you should be able to vent anytime you want to! Give Millie a huge hug from me! And give you one too! Love you guys!!! - Miss Patti
The emotional friction caused by living with the new normal while fighting to get back to the old normal is maddening. Grateful that things are manageable while absolutely pissed that it is the way it is. In a small way, we're there with you. It's a parent's quandary. We love you guys.
Post a Comment