Race

I feel like blabbering a little so stay with me. My life has been exhausting. Really Millie is doing pretty dang good on this new round of chemo, but we are all DONE. She is defiantly hammered. If she does anything that exerts energy during the day then she immediately crashes after. Her blood counts are still up enough that technically she is fine to be in the Real World but I just want her home in bed.

Of course this week is full of activities that she doesn't want to miss so I am constantly going back and forth about what I should do. Should I keep her home from dance? Her concert is this week and she has been working so hard, if she doesn't practice she can't preform. Then again maybe she shouldn't preform since she'll be coming off her steroids. I am a little nervous she may get mad and start shoving the other girls off the stage. Not really of course, but I did have this image of her turning into the Hulk and going on a rampage.

Then she LOVES school. How can I keep her from school when she begs me to go and she'd miss her field trip. Of course I would never compromise her health and send her if it wasn't really OK, but it's hard.

Millie also has a Princess Ball tomorrow with HopeKids and she can't wait. It's about an hour drive there and back with a big dinner. Should I let her go? How am I suppose to know.

I feel like I have done a pretty good job of holding it together but this last week or so has been a nightmare for both Brady and I. Millie is so strong and even through all of these new drugs she is still basically an angel. I'm the one that's a disaster. If it wasn't for Brady and the Letters I think I would have been admitted to a mental institution this week. It's amazing how therapeutic all the mail coming in has been to me. Of course Millie is loving it, but I am astounded at the generosity of others. I want to do a post of Millie's Mail another day where I can tell you all about it, but I can tell you that on my most horrific days Millie got a package from Brady's friend Jesse and his wife Natalie. Natalie made the most darling headbands and Jesse wrote and recorded a song just for Millie. I also was surprised by a high school friend with a package for me. It was filled with fun bath stuff and a darling bracelet (thanks ashlie). I cried happy tears the rest of the day.

Brady is my saving grace. I don't' give him enough credit for everything he does for me and our family. He is so good about coming home when I need him, calming me down over the phone, or doing something as simple as emptying the dishwasher, which I hate doing. He knows I have been struggling so even though he was just has tired as I am he really made my Mother's Day the best ever.

My day started early Saturday morning. We decided to participate in Race For The Cure. I tear up just thinking about it. 1st of all I couldn't believe how many people were there. They estimated over 17,000 runners. Unbelievable. The atmosphere was so full of Hope. There was on woman in front of me that still had a bald head, she was holding a baby in one arm and a sign that said, "1 month remission" in the other. There were people supporting their loved ones that didn't make it, "We love you Kathy, We will never forget". It's something you would have to experience for yourself to truly grasp. It was so fun, people were joking (Yes they're FAKE, the REAL ONES tried to KILL me), people crying over the battles they won, people that were there just to be a part of the experience.

When the race started they played Mellisa Etheridge, I Run For Life. I started bawling. It was a completely overwhelming experience. (click on the link and please listen)

Sherry, Me, Brady

Me, Brady, Jeff, Nancy, Carly

Lindsay and Nicole

The race just began and already there were thousands of people in front of us an behind. We were somewhere lost in the middle.

The Finish Line with my sisters

I am so glad we did this. It seems that everyone knows someone who has been effects by breast cancer.

1 in 8 woman will get Breast Cancer.

When we got home from our race Brady has scheduled a massage for me. Sadly it was kind of a crappy one, but still thoughtful! He then spent the evening scrubbing all the floors on his hands and knees. Sunday I woke up to flowers, breakfast and presents. Millie made me the cutest thing in preschool. It's her hand prints and a poem that says,

You clean my prints from wall and door,

For I'm not careful when I play.

But here's a print you'll want to keep,

It's made for you this Mother's Day.

I'll keep it forever and maybe even put it in the Ceder Chest Brady got me for Mother's Day! I saw it in a consignment store in St. George and LOVED it. It's like none I've ever seen. When we pick it up I'll put up some pictures. After that we went to church. Millie sang in sacrament meeting with the other primary kids. She was adorable! Then we went to see Brady's mom and to meet up with my family at the park. It was a perfect weekend.

This picture makes me a little sad. You can feel how tired she is.

Happy Mother's Day!

Austin is 8 Months!

I can't believe my little man is now 8 months old! He is such a big boy and we all love him to bits.

ABOUT ME:

• My favorite thing in the whole world is my sister. She always makes me smile.
• I like to play in the bath
• I went swimming for the 1st time a week ago and I LOVED it.
• I started sitting on my own and I get stronger every day.
• I am a busy, busy boy and my mom is going to be in trouble once I start crawling!
• I can throw a pretty mean tantrum when I'm not getting what I want.
• I am happy as long as there is someone with me at all times, I LOVE attention.
• I am a mommas boy.
• I can't help but stare at my cousin Sherry. She makes me happy.
• I have a giant smile that makes everyone around me smile back.

We love our man and are so grateful he is in our family. It wouldn't be complete without him. If I am having a rough day with Millie or life in general Austin's smile always cheers me up.

We love you buddy!

LETTERS FOR MILLIE

Hi Everyone!

Amelia is truly doing wonderful. We have flown through the last couple months of treatment. Everything has gone has smoothly as possible. Her doctor said she is the perfect example of how they hope children will react to chemo. I KNOW it's because we have prayers coming in for her all over the world.

The past weekend we went to St. George, UT. It was our calm before the storm. Millie is about to start her last phase of treatment before Maintenance. It's called Standard Delayed Intensification. It totals 57 days if there are no setbacks. She will be back on 9 drugs; Dexamethasone, Vincristine, Doxorubicin, PEG-asparaginase, Thioguanine, Cytarabine, Intrathecal Methotrexate, and Septra. Dexamethsone is the steroid she was on before. I am loathing the day; for both of us.

With the start of this new round I was hoping I could ask a favor........
We know there are a lot of you out there praying and thinking of Millie. Some of you are family, friends, friends of friends, blog stalkers, and strangers. I want Amelia to know how many people are out there supporting her. Here's what I am asking.

Please, Please, Please SNAIL MAIL a letter, post card, whatever is easiest and direct it to her with this info.

• your name


• how you know about her whether you are Brady's high school friend, my family, a Friend of a Friend, etc.


• where you are living


• and most importantly a message to Amelia. It can be anything! Short, long, whatever you have time for.

I think that getting supportive mail through this next month will be an amazing experience for her and something she can always look back on and remember her supporters.

We love all of you and are so grateful for your support.

THANK YOU IN ADVANCE!

If you need our address, feel free to jet me an email. amandaflamm@hotmail.com

I'll post George Pictures when I get them from my sis Codie; I forgot my camera:(

Baldies

Friday night around 4:30 Millie came up to me and said, "Mom, I want to shave the rest of my hair off tonight." I said OK and called the troops. We had everyone together in a couple hours.

Millie did Brady's 1st.... Then it was his turn to do hers...

To help her be brave Millie held Lilly and Cyndell's hands.

Twinners

Millie and her PROUD Grandpa Jager

Our Family

Mil and Jager

Amanda Millie Sherry

WE LOVE MILLIE

Easter

We had a beautiful Easter, although I could have done without the snow. Millie woke up happy and ready to hunt for her basket. She was thrilled when she found it. I think her favorite thing she got was an apron to keep in the kitchen so she can help me bake.

Isn't her basket cute! It was mine, my dad made it. Since we only had one he whipped another up for Austin. I love having things my daddy made.

The cutest Easter Bunny Ever! After we found our baskets, we headed to my parents. My mom had a gorgeous brunch prepared. She always does a lovely job on holidays. She really knows how to make it special.

All the cousins circled around the computer to watch "Elephants I Like Elephants". We all love it, check it out.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yihq8BIhL9c

Brady's mom does a MONEY Easter Egg Hunt every year. It's funny to watch all of these grown people running around like wild animals trying to find eggs. I think Brady got the most this year; $20. I got a whopping $3 and Millie got $1. It's a fun tradition.

Nana and Callie

(some of) The Flamm Gang
Bryce, Cody, Callie, Nancy, Austin, Brady, Adam

Carly, Grandma Ellsworth, Michele, Elizabeth, Amelia, Amanda

Aunt Carly and Mil

Sadly this was the best shot I could get of the two of them. Austin was not thrilled to be getting his picture taken. Millie is a babe.

HAPPY EASTER!

The ranch and CALLIE!

Cody and Michele are in town! I LOVE it when they are here, but this time was extra special because we finally got to meet our new, niece Callie. She is such a babe! Big lips, beautiful blue eyes, and a giant smile. She is a darling baby.

Since Cody and Shelly are here we decided to head to our ranch in Wyoming. We only went for 1 night so we could be back from Easter, but we had a blast as always.

Our Arizona Gang

Bryce Man, Cody, and Michele

Brady and I

Man I need some new snow clothes, I have had the same pants since Jr. High.

Aunt Kim was a rock star playing with Millie and helping with Austin. Millie loves her! Kim is always more then happy to do the dances Millie makes up for her or get down on the ground to play ranch.

Austin warming up Brady's cheeks after our snowmobile ride. It was FREEZING!
Kim after her adventure in the blizzard.

Callie and Austin checking each other out.

Just Chillin and being cute.

Uncle Andy and Millie

Aunt Kim playing baby sitter.

Brady, Millie, Cody, and Bryce getting ready for their ride. Millie LOVED it. Brady was flying and she kept giggling and asking to go faster.

And of course we had to play Settlers, a trip to the ranch wouldn't be the same without it.

Grandpa Jeff and Sherry

Since Bryce is younger then Millie and they don't see each other very often I wasn't sure how they would be together, but other then one little squabble over a horse, they were best buds!

Bryce pouting and Millie in timeout for fighting over the horse.

We still love.

It was an awesome trip! Almost all the Flamms were there.

Grandpa Jeff, Nana, Brady, Me, Millie, Austin, Cody, Michele, Bryce, Callie, Carly, Sherry (you're a Flamm to us), Andy, Kim, Adam, and Elizabeth. We were only missing Bryan and Kimi. He was out of town and Kimi and the kiddos are fighting a nasty bug so they had to stay home.

What's been going on

We FINALLY got a new computer. HOORAY! It's strange for me not to to be working on a laptop, we haven't had a home computer since before we moved to England. I still have to get use to organizing our pictures differently so they will be straight from the camera for awhile, I don't have the patience to learn a new editing system.

Here are a few pictures from the last couple weeks.

Millie being Millie

Austin doing his very favorite things..chewing on his thumb

Snuggle Buddies

(I LOVE Millie's KoolAid lips)

Dylan (our home health nurse) accessing Millie's PORT. She is such a champ! She usually doesn't cry and she always says, "I'm brave mom, do you know what being brave is? It's doing something that you don't want to do". It does help that Brady always leaves work in the middle of the afternoon to be there for her. She needs her daddy.

Dylan let's Millie draw her own labs.

Last Sunday Brady and I took the kiddos to Wheeler Farm. It's such a fun and better yet FREE place to take the kids. Millie loved playing in the tree house with all the random kids. Austin slept most the time, but was happy to see the ducks.